Each Sunday in church we have a little song that we sing. It repeats over and over "I am so blessed...I am so blessed...I am so grateful for all that I have." I find myself humming it during the day and it instantly brings my mood up and I feel a smile spreading across my face.
Do you have anything like that in your life? Something that can instantly pull you out of a bad mood? If so, how often do you enjoy it?
Today on my radio show with career coach Marina Spence I was reflecting back on coaching school at ILCT. My instructor, Pat Williams said a lot of really smart things but one thing in particular stuck with me and made such an impression that I share it with nearly every client. He asked "Where do the things you love show up on your calendar?"
For most people, their calendars are filled with appointments and errands and responsibility. Why would we schedule fun? Fun fits in wherever you have time. But most of our calendars are so packed that there's nowhere to squeeze in the fun!
Why is play time important? Because it directly impacts mindset and mindset is vital to good parenting, enjoying your career and connecting with spirit. If you're like most people you have to think a bit about what you actually enjoy. There are the politically correct, expected answers but I always like clients to dig deeper.
And once they figure it out, I strongly suggest they schedule time to take a walk or watch a movie, to spend time with friends or brew beer, to meditate or bake brownies. I encourage them to actually write it down in their calendar so it doesn't get away from them. Joy doesn't have to come from big, expensive, luxurious, time consuming activities. It can be a catnap or an ice cream cone.
So today's assignment, should you choose to accept it, is to take some time to consider what brings you joy and then make it a part of your life.
Thursday, December 3, 2009
Monday, August 31, 2009
Alexander sort of day...
When my kids were little and having a particularly rotten day, we would read "Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day." Well, I had an Alexander sort of day today.
From traffic snags to miscommunications, computer glitches to small disappointments - it was just one of those days.
But amidst all of it, I saw glimmers that could turn my day around. My dear friend sent me a t-shirt from her non-profit. I received two thank you notes in the mail which always brighten my day. My teacher invited me to attend her next class which made me smile. I love her classes. And my e-mail was filled with kudos for a workshop I did recently. All of this will provide me with a basis for a great start tomorrow but today - I choose to wallow.
And that's okay. I think pity parties are woefully undervalued.
My son got home from work later in the day and had also had a horrible day. Then my other son...and my husband... we all had bad days. Interestingly enough, our bad days had to do with people trying to off-load their bad moods on to us. Fortunately we have taught our kids that when someone treats you badly it's about them and their stuff.
I know that in many of the families I've worked with there is a pattern of taking bad days out on one another - within the family. It is so damaging that many families never recover.
But there is another way.
For us, we sit down and vent. We talk about what happened while everyone else just listens. Then everyone takes some time to do their own thing. Football, a walk, a bath, a nap, ice cream. Some need more time than others and it's okay.
And after we've had some time to adjust our respective attitudes then it's time to come together again to watch a funny movie and munch on pizza so we can move past our bad day and set our intentions for a better day tomorrow.
When you're having a bad day, lashing out at others is a choice - and while it may spread the bad mood, it doesn't diminish it for the owner. Try to find that split second where you are at choice. Try different things on to see what helps with your mood - whether you need some time to just take good care of yourself or you want to pull yourself out of a bad place quickly.
The people in your life will greatly appreciate your efforts and as a bonus - you'll find that your relationships will improve and people will want to help you feel better.
From traffic snags to miscommunications, computer glitches to small disappointments - it was just one of those days.
But amidst all of it, I saw glimmers that could turn my day around. My dear friend sent me a t-shirt from her non-profit. I received two thank you notes in the mail which always brighten my day. My teacher invited me to attend her next class which made me smile. I love her classes. And my e-mail was filled with kudos for a workshop I did recently. All of this will provide me with a basis for a great start tomorrow but today - I choose to wallow.
And that's okay. I think pity parties are woefully undervalued.
My son got home from work later in the day and had also had a horrible day. Then my other son...and my husband... we all had bad days. Interestingly enough, our bad days had to do with people trying to off-load their bad moods on to us. Fortunately we have taught our kids that when someone treats you badly it's about them and their stuff.
I know that in many of the families I've worked with there is a pattern of taking bad days out on one another - within the family. It is so damaging that many families never recover.
But there is another way.
For us, we sit down and vent. We talk about what happened while everyone else just listens. Then everyone takes some time to do their own thing. Football, a walk, a bath, a nap, ice cream. Some need more time than others and it's okay.
And after we've had some time to adjust our respective attitudes then it's time to come together again to watch a funny movie and munch on pizza so we can move past our bad day and set our intentions for a better day tomorrow.
When you're having a bad day, lashing out at others is a choice - and while it may spread the bad mood, it doesn't diminish it for the owner. Try to find that split second where you are at choice. Try different things on to see what helps with your mood - whether you need some time to just take good care of yourself or you want to pull yourself out of a bad place quickly.
The people in your life will greatly appreciate your efforts and as a bonus - you'll find that your relationships will improve and people will want to help you feel better.
Friday, August 14, 2009
Pulling Your Own Weight
Our son recently turned 19 and things are shifting. He will start college in the fall but will live at home. How do we manage meals? Does he pay for his own medical bills? How about clothes? Who buys them...who washes them? Do I still schedule his dental cleanings?
I'm sure these waters are charted and have been navigated since Eve had to let go of Cain and Abel but they're new to me. And although I've helped women with these issues for decades in my job as a therapist and parenting instructor it is entirely different to go through yourself. Like some sort of emotional heart surgery, even if you've performed dozens of them as a surgeon being the patient gives you new appreciation!
My partner and I were talking about this at breakfast when we noticed the cat sitting by “her”cabinet waiting for us to get up, get her treats down and dole a few out to her.
We both looked at kitty. She has become rather persnickety and will no longer eat the bargain cat treats. She now demands the gourmet snacks, meowing until we give in. My partner and I looked at each other and had a meeting of the minds. He said “Kitty! No more treats until you start pulling your own weight around here” and I said with him “which is considerable!” (The vet has been after us for years to put her on a diet.)
And we considered the relevance of this drama to our current parental situation. Parenting is often about managing expectations and so later that day we listened to our son about what would work for him, spoke with him about what would work for us, and sorted out what makes the most sense. While the waters are certainly not uncharted, everyone helps their child journey to adulthood in a different way.
We've decided that we'll all do laundry – but to save water we'll not separate the laundry by person. We'll take turns cooking meals. We'll cover the medical insurance, he'll handle the co-pays. And we worked out all the other little details we could think of. Then we talked about how odd it feels to all of us to have this shift in our relationship.
Upon reflection, I've learned it's not about letting go after all. We're not letting go of the relationship or the child or anything other than perhaps some old expectations and regrets. And that's okay.
I'm sure these waters are charted and have been navigated since Eve had to let go of Cain and Abel but they're new to me. And although I've helped women with these issues for decades in my job as a therapist and parenting instructor it is entirely different to go through yourself. Like some sort of emotional heart surgery, even if you've performed dozens of them as a surgeon being the patient gives you new appreciation!
My partner and I were talking about this at breakfast when we noticed the cat sitting by “her”cabinet waiting for us to get up, get her treats down and dole a few out to her.
We both looked at kitty. She has become rather persnickety and will no longer eat the bargain cat treats. She now demands the gourmet snacks, meowing until we give in. My partner and I looked at each other and had a meeting of the minds. He said “Kitty! No more treats until you start pulling your own weight around here” and I said with him “which is considerable!” (The vet has been after us for years to put her on a diet.)
And we considered the relevance of this drama to our current parental situation. Parenting is often about managing expectations and so later that day we listened to our son about what would work for him, spoke with him about what would work for us, and sorted out what makes the most sense. While the waters are certainly not uncharted, everyone helps their child journey to adulthood in a different way.
We've decided that we'll all do laundry – but to save water we'll not separate the laundry by person. We'll take turns cooking meals. We'll cover the medical insurance, he'll handle the co-pays. And we worked out all the other little details we could think of. Then we talked about how odd it feels to all of us to have this shift in our relationship.
Upon reflection, I've learned it's not about letting go after all. We're not letting go of the relationship or the child or anything other than perhaps some old expectations and regrets. And that's okay.
Friday, August 7, 2009
The Koan
The Koan
In my last post I talked about a dream I had about ego and beginner's mind and how it's rather a koan – a puzzle with no solution. Like trying to assemble an optical illusion – the more you try to solve it, the more frustrating it gets. I think practitioners of Zen must think about these puzzles a lot. I think the point is to think about them enough to release them – to realize there are some things out of our control, that can never be solved and to get okay with that being okay. Not easily done.
I will be puzzling over this for some time I imagine – before I release it – and along with it the desire to be the best, the need to control and the hope to please others.
One of the things I've always taken a certain pride in is that I'm not naturally competitive. I think that my dream told that I have my own brand of competitiveness that I need to let go of.
And so, that is what I will be working to release. Perhaps working is the wrong word. I think it's more about being open to allowing it to leave – to release the attachment.
Saturday, August 1, 2009
Best in Class
Recently I've started a new job doing some transcription for my teacher Mary MacNab. There's an art to it and some people are just better at it than others. You need beginner's mind to release the perfectionism so the script comes out cleaner than you can make it on your own. It's about allowing Spirit to flow through you.
We think that in order for Spirit to flow through us, we must be doing big, important, noble work. But imagine if everyone in the world allowed Spirit to flow through them regardless of what they were doing - while they were eating, watering the lawn, preparing a meal, saving lives, tossing out the trash, reading to their kids. It doesn't matter what you are doing, it's how you're doing it and Spirit can flow through you always.
I work late into the night and then fall asleep and dream that I am in one of Mary's classes about releasing ego. I am, ironically, the best in the class and I glow with pride. I'm sure you see the irony.
All of the beginner's mind stuff is slippery and remarkably enough, the more you realize that and let it go, the better you're getting at it. And if you recognize that and get peaceful with the confusion, you're back at square one - which is, of course, the point. But if you recognize that you're at square one and that's where you wanted to be all along and you feel good about it and you're not confused, you're not really there at all.
I'm still working it all out, but wanted to share. More next week...
We think that in order for Spirit to flow through us, we must be doing big, important, noble work. But imagine if everyone in the world allowed Spirit to flow through them regardless of what they were doing - while they were eating, watering the lawn, preparing a meal, saving lives, tossing out the trash, reading to their kids. It doesn't matter what you are doing, it's how you're doing it and Spirit can flow through you always.
I work late into the night and then fall asleep and dream that I am in one of Mary's classes about releasing ego. I am, ironically, the best in the class and I glow with pride. I'm sure you see the irony.
All of the beginner's mind stuff is slippery and remarkably enough, the more you realize that and let it go, the better you're getting at it. And if you recognize that and get peaceful with the confusion, you're back at square one - which is, of course, the point. But if you recognize that you're at square one and that's where you wanted to be all along and you feel good about it and you're not confused, you're not really there at all.
I'm still working it all out, but wanted to share. More next week...
Monday, July 20, 2009
Empty Nest
It happened so fast. I expected my kids to ease into their teen years, to leave the nest slowly. Instead it seemed to have happen in just a couple of months. My older son got a full time job and my younger son signed up for football. They are both so busy chasing their dreams, taking on responsibilities and having fun and I feel like I've done a pretty good job so far. They seem balanced in their approach to life.
And although they're still living at home, it's feeling increasingly like a pit stop - a safe haven for renewal between adventures. And that's okay. There's something about holding the space for them - like moving from a full time mom to an Emeritis position I am still able to provide something they need and that feels good.
Raising children can be all consuming and when they hit their teen years it can feel like a bit like forced retirement. I'm still eternally grateful to a friend who pointed out to me that she had worked part time from home until her kids finished college. She said that, in her experience, her children needed her as much in their 20's as they did when they were 3 - but in a different way.
I am grateful because, not only does it help me to be a better mom but it helps me realize it's not quite time to retire.
And although they're still living at home, it's feeling increasingly like a pit stop - a safe haven for renewal between adventures. And that's okay. There's something about holding the space for them - like moving from a full time mom to an Emeritis position I am still able to provide something they need and that feels good.
Raising children can be all consuming and when they hit their teen years it can feel like a bit like forced retirement. I'm still eternally grateful to a friend who pointed out to me that she had worked part time from home until her kids finished college. She said that, in her experience, her children needed her as much in their 20's as they did when they were 3 - but in a different way.
I am grateful because, not only does it help me to be a better mom but it helps me realize it's not quite time to retire.
Monday, July 13, 2009
Rain
Colorado is a dry state. Most years water is rationed and you are given guidelines.
We've had a good deal of rain this year so we haven't had to worry about watering - until the last couple weeks. I've been nagging myself - "I need to check on the watering schedule and set up the sprinkler!"
Yesterday I was chatting with a friend on the phone. She's like-spirited and inspiring - providing me with lots of great insights. But this time I wasn't present because I was looking at that damn lawn and beating up on myself about not getting to it yet.
As we spoke I looked up the watering schedule, thought about getting the sprinkler set up, wondered where I left the attachments last autumn...
I finally got to the "That's IT!" place with myself and told my friend I had to run. I got the water turned on, found the attachments and struggled with the muddy equipment. I got it all hooked up and positioned the sprinkler, turned it on and watched it hit too much of the sidewalk. Turned the water off, moved it a bit - nope, it's hitting the neighbors car. Moved it again - perfect! I grabbed my book and kept an eye on the time. After 30 minutes I moved went through the same routine - moving the sprinkler, turning the water on, then off and adjusting. Then on ... and off... every 30 minutes. I'm sure it looked like some ridiculous dance! Needless to say, it was hard too get into my book about being open to Spirit!
The sun was amazing and I got to wave to the neighbors as they were coming and going on their Sunday errands. After two hours, I washed off the equipment, turned off the water, coiled the hose up, removed the sprinkler, stored everything and came inside.
I sat down to chat with my husband and within 15 minutes a huge clap of thunder came out of nowhere as if to say "watch THIS!!!" The skies opened up and thoroughly, perfectly, watered my lawn. It stopped just as abruptly an hour later.
I laughed out loud as I grasped the meaning. When we do what we need to do to allow Spirit to flow through us, life also flows. When we fill our days with busy work, we are never still enough to tune in.
If we spend just a bit of time each morning connecting to Spirit and getting that flow started, things fall into place. It is in this way that we find, fully know and live our purpose.
We've had a good deal of rain this year so we haven't had to worry about watering - until the last couple weeks. I've been nagging myself - "I need to check on the watering schedule and set up the sprinkler!"
Yesterday I was chatting with a friend on the phone. She's like-spirited and inspiring - providing me with lots of great insights. But this time I wasn't present because I was looking at that damn lawn and beating up on myself about not getting to it yet.
As we spoke I looked up the watering schedule, thought about getting the sprinkler set up, wondered where I left the attachments last autumn...
I finally got to the "That's IT!" place with myself and told my friend I had to run. I got the water turned on, found the attachments and struggled with the muddy equipment. I got it all hooked up and positioned the sprinkler, turned it on and watched it hit too much of the sidewalk. Turned the water off, moved it a bit - nope, it's hitting the neighbors car. Moved it again - perfect! I grabbed my book and kept an eye on the time. After 30 minutes I moved went through the same routine - moving the sprinkler, turning the water on, then off and adjusting. Then on ... and off... every 30 minutes. I'm sure it looked like some ridiculous dance! Needless to say, it was hard too get into my book about being open to Spirit!
The sun was amazing and I got to wave to the neighbors as they were coming and going on their Sunday errands. After two hours, I washed off the equipment, turned off the water, coiled the hose up, removed the sprinkler, stored everything and came inside.
I sat down to chat with my husband and within 15 minutes a huge clap of thunder came out of nowhere as if to say "watch THIS!!!" The skies opened up and thoroughly, perfectly, watered my lawn. It stopped just as abruptly an hour later.
I laughed out loud as I grasped the meaning. When we do what we need to do to allow Spirit to flow through us, life also flows. When we fill our days with busy work, we are never still enough to tune in.
If we spend just a bit of time each morning connecting to Spirit and getting that flow started, things fall into place. It is in this way that we find, fully know and live our purpose.
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
Spirit
I, like so many others today, watched the memorial service for Michael Jackson with gratitude for his music and how it is weaved through my life and memories.
People say his music, dance moves and career were genius. I would agree, but Jackson said these things were never "his." In fact, he said he felt guilty about putting his name on "his" work because it was effortless for him. The music, he said, came through him from God.
His real brilliance was that he was so open to Spirit that all of this amazing music simply flowed through him. And Spirit moved through him in other ways too. It was said at the memorial service that when he suffered a serious burn on his scalp, he used the experience to empathize with others and build a burn unit. And he did this in many other circumstances as well - bad experiences were turned into opportunities to help others. Spirit doesn't see negatives.
Michael Jackson's music is his legacy to the world. But a less obvious legacy is this: when we allow Spirit to flow through us, not only are we lavishly fed and nurtured - magical gifts are bestowed upon us to share with the world.
I heard a sermon recently where the minister said that often times we pick and choose "Okay God, you can take this and that part of my life but this other thing is really important so I better handle it..." We all laughed but it really is true.
What would our lives look like if we opened our whole lives to Spirit? THAT would be an amazing example to our children and a lasting legacy.
People say his music, dance moves and career were genius. I would agree, but Jackson said these things were never "his." In fact, he said he felt guilty about putting his name on "his" work because it was effortless for him. The music, he said, came through him from God.
His real brilliance was that he was so open to Spirit that all of this amazing music simply flowed through him. And Spirit moved through him in other ways too. It was said at the memorial service that when he suffered a serious burn on his scalp, he used the experience to empathize with others and build a burn unit. And he did this in many other circumstances as well - bad experiences were turned into opportunities to help others. Spirit doesn't see negatives.
Michael Jackson's music is his legacy to the world. But a less obvious legacy is this: when we allow Spirit to flow through us, not only are we lavishly fed and nurtured - magical gifts are bestowed upon us to share with the world.
I heard a sermon recently where the minister said that often times we pick and choose "Okay God, you can take this and that part of my life but this other thing is really important so I better handle it..." We all laughed but it really is true.
What would our lives look like if we opened our whole lives to Spirit? THAT would be an amazing example to our children and a lasting legacy.
Monday, July 6, 2009
New Discoveries
People who know me tend to think I'm a very "up" person. I tend to be the optimist and can almost always find the silver lining.
But I'm going to be honest. Last night I got about 4 hours of sleep and I woke up pretty grouchy. Coffee didn't seem to help. Meditation usually puts me right but I couldn't seem to focus.
And then I had a webinar to learn how to use Blog Talk Radio. I felt sluggish when I started the call but enthusiasm is contagious and my publicist, Malathy Drew of Whispering Energy has that in spades. It's a gentle enthusiasm - an "I'm putting my arm around you and helping you figure this out" sort of enthusiasm - and I love it.
After an hour my day is back on track. I will need a nap later to take care of myself and get the rest I need, but for now I'm happy that I've found another solution to pull my way out of a bad mood...and I learned a new skill to boot!
So now that I've learned how to use blog talk radio, I have to plug the show - Mary Elizabeth Bradford will be interviewing me on how mindset can impact your job search. So if you know anyone looking for a job or if you're a career coach, stop by for a listen on Thursday, July 9th at 12 noon EST. You can find my show page at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/ProParentCoach I'd love to see you there!
But I'm going to be honest. Last night I got about 4 hours of sleep and I woke up pretty grouchy. Coffee didn't seem to help. Meditation usually puts me right but I couldn't seem to focus.
And then I had a webinar to learn how to use Blog Talk Radio. I felt sluggish when I started the call but enthusiasm is contagious and my publicist, Malathy Drew of Whispering Energy has that in spades. It's a gentle enthusiasm - an "I'm putting my arm around you and helping you figure this out" sort of enthusiasm - and I love it.
After an hour my day is back on track. I will need a nap later to take care of myself and get the rest I need, but for now I'm happy that I've found another solution to pull my way out of a bad mood...and I learned a new skill to boot!
So now that I've learned how to use blog talk radio, I have to plug the show - Mary Elizabeth Bradford will be interviewing me on how mindset can impact your job search. So if you know anyone looking for a job or if you're a career coach, stop by for a listen on Thursday, July 9th at 12 noon EST. You can find my show page at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/ProParentCoach I'd love to see you there!
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
There's A Recession - have a blast!!!
With the recession, people are cutting back. They're canceling vacations, skipping the restaurant and staying home. And when news of a layoff comes, they cut back even more.
It's important to watch our pennies these days, but the people who do the best are keeping one thing at all costs - fun.
When we give things up, we often don't replace them - then we feel deprived, angry, hurt and sad. It's why many diets don't work. We feel like we're being punished, that things are unfair. And if we have kids, they often pick up on that and feel the same way. We say things like "we can't afford that" and "we don't have the money."
It creates sort of a self-fulfilling prophesy. And we go into job interviews with this hurt, deprived, "I can't afford it" quality permeating everything we say. Not very attractive.
What if instead of this we took a look at our budget so we could tighten it, network to find jobs, look for the best deals, trade for what you need, cancel vacation (if necessary) but also took a look at how can we maintain the fun?
I would argue that fun should be at the top of the list because it helps us maintain a positive mind-set. It reduces stress and helps us reconnect with our kids and with one another. It can help you sleep better at night, reduces over-eating ... and imagine going into a job interview with this fun attitude. Imagine the night before you played cards with your family and just finished a picnic with your partner just before the interview. You'll be a better mood - and it'll show.
Instead of saying "we can't afford that" - see it as a choice. Instead of dinner at a restaurant and going out to a movie, you might trade movies with the neighbors and have a pot luck. Instead of taking a vacation, you can set up a tent in the back yard or trade homes with a friend.
Instead of going to a ball game, play baseball with your kids and their friends. Board games, pic-nics, swimming, tennis, learning a new skill in exchange for teaching, pot lucks...all are free or low cost ways to have a good time.
During the recession don't give up the fun. Think of a way to translate more expensive activities you enjoy into more frugal entertainment. It doesn't have to be expensive but having fun is vital for peace of mind and good relationships.
Enjoy!
It's important to watch our pennies these days, but the people who do the best are keeping one thing at all costs - fun.
When we give things up, we often don't replace them - then we feel deprived, angry, hurt and sad. It's why many diets don't work. We feel like we're being punished, that things are unfair. And if we have kids, they often pick up on that and feel the same way. We say things like "we can't afford that" and "we don't have the money."
It creates sort of a self-fulfilling prophesy. And we go into job interviews with this hurt, deprived, "I can't afford it" quality permeating everything we say. Not very attractive.
What if instead of this we took a look at our budget so we could tighten it, network to find jobs, look for the best deals, trade for what you need, cancel vacation (if necessary) but also took a look at how can we maintain the fun?
I would argue that fun should be at the top of the list because it helps us maintain a positive mind-set. It reduces stress and helps us reconnect with our kids and with one another. It can help you sleep better at night, reduces over-eating ... and imagine going into a job interview with this fun attitude. Imagine the night before you played cards with your family and just finished a picnic with your partner just before the interview. You'll be a better mood - and it'll show.
Instead of saying "we can't afford that" - see it as a choice. Instead of dinner at a restaurant and going out to a movie, you might trade movies with the neighbors and have a pot luck. Instead of taking a vacation, you can set up a tent in the back yard or trade homes with a friend.
Instead of going to a ball game, play baseball with your kids and their friends. Board games, pic-nics, swimming, tennis, learning a new skill in exchange for teaching, pot lucks...all are free or low cost ways to have a good time.
During the recession don't give up the fun. Think of a way to translate more expensive activities you enjoy into more frugal entertainment. It doesn't have to be expensive but having fun is vital for peace of mind and good relationships.
Enjoy!
Saturday, June 27, 2009
Weeds
Colorado has been unseasonably cool and rainy this summer. It's a good thing overall - we often have watering restrictions. It's good for the weeds too. For the past five years or so, we've had a bumper crop of weeds. This year I finally surrendered and called a landscaper. He took a look and said "Round-Up!" I explained we tried that - twice. We also tried planting other things (the weeds won) and even a blow torch. But the weeds are back...again.
Another landscaper has suggested pulling them out by their roots, so instead of mowing, we're pulling. The problem is that they're growing faster than we can pull! We have some that look like sequoias.
And so we have resolved to pull the tallest ones and just mow the rest. The other alternative involves a back hoe, a team of highly skilled professional xeriscapers and a tag team of laborers working 24/7 for weeks if not months.
But this whole thing got me thinking...we work so hard against our natural tendencies. My yard's natural tendency is to grow weeds and I'm fighting it. In that case I probably should.
But what about us? If we have straight hair, we curl it. If it's curly, we straighten it. If we're fat, we beat on ourselves - but the same thing happens if we're thin. We can always find a reason not to accept ourselves. And we spend so much time, money, energy and resources on fighting against our genes!
Yesterday Farrah Fawcett passed away. I watched the documentary she made and as she lost her hair, her skin darkened to an ashen color and her body bloated she never whined about it. She had been arguably one of the most beautiful women on the planet and that was all fading away quickly as the cancer invaded her body. But she had such a clear sense of what was important - being alive, being loved and loving right back, fighting for what's right and a sense of humor and altruism.
Thank you Farrah - wherever you are - for this final lesson. Accept yourself but not only that - embrace yourself. Don't throw away valuable time trying to change who you are. I attended a talk recently and the speaker quoted a poem. I loved it, but didn't catch the author. He said, "I dreamed I was a great ocean that was jealous of a pond."
Instead of picking out all your flaws and ruminating on them, ruminate on all your fantastic qualities - share them with the world. Feel free to admire others, but recognize your own gifts too.
As Antoine Saint Exupery said "What is essential is invisible to the eye."
Another landscaper has suggested pulling them out by their roots, so instead of mowing, we're pulling. The problem is that they're growing faster than we can pull! We have some that look like sequoias.
And so we have resolved to pull the tallest ones and just mow the rest. The other alternative involves a back hoe, a team of highly skilled professional xeriscapers and a tag team of laborers working 24/7 for weeks if not months.
But this whole thing got me thinking...we work so hard against our natural tendencies. My yard's natural tendency is to grow weeds and I'm fighting it. In that case I probably should.
But what about us? If we have straight hair, we curl it. If it's curly, we straighten it. If we're fat, we beat on ourselves - but the same thing happens if we're thin. We can always find a reason not to accept ourselves. And we spend so much time, money, energy and resources on fighting against our genes!
Yesterday Farrah Fawcett passed away. I watched the documentary she made and as she lost her hair, her skin darkened to an ashen color and her body bloated she never whined about it. She had been arguably one of the most beautiful women on the planet and that was all fading away quickly as the cancer invaded her body. But she had such a clear sense of what was important - being alive, being loved and loving right back, fighting for what's right and a sense of humor and altruism.
Thank you Farrah - wherever you are - for this final lesson. Accept yourself but not only that - embrace yourself. Don't throw away valuable time trying to change who you are. I attended a talk recently and the speaker quoted a poem. I loved it, but didn't catch the author. He said, "I dreamed I was a great ocean that was jealous of a pond."
Instead of picking out all your flaws and ruminating on them, ruminate on all your fantastic qualities - share them with the world. Feel free to admire others, but recognize your own gifts too.
As Antoine Saint Exupery said "What is essential is invisible to the eye."
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