Alexander sort of day...

When my kids were little and having a particularly rotten day, we would read "Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day." Well, I had an Alexander sort of day today.

From traffic snags to miscommunications, computer glitches to small disappointments - it was just one of those days.

But amidst all of it, I saw glimmers that could turn my day around. My dear friend sent me a t-shirt from her non-profit. I received two thank you notes in the mail which always brighten my day. My teacher invited me to attend her next class which made me smile. I love her classes. And my e-mail was filled with kudos for a workshop I did recently. All of this will provide me with a basis for a great start tomorrow but today - I choose to wallow.

And that's okay. I think pity parties are woefully undervalued.

My son got home from work later in the day and had also had a horrible day. Then my other son...and my husband... we all had bad days. Interestingly enough, our bad days had to do with people trying to off-load their bad moods on to us. Fortunately we have taught our kids that when someone treats you badly it's about them and their stuff.

I know that in many of the families I've worked with there is a pattern of taking bad days out on one another - within the family. It is so damaging that many families never recover.

But there is another way.

For us, we sit down and vent. We talk about what happened while everyone else just listens. Then everyone takes some time to do their own thing. Football, a walk, a bath, a nap, ice cream. Some need more time than others and it's okay.

And after we've had some time to adjust our respective attitudes then it's time to come together again to watch a funny movie and munch on pizza so we can move past our bad day and set our intentions for a better day tomorrow.

When you're having a bad day, lashing out at others is a choice - and while it may spread the bad mood, it doesn't diminish it for the owner. Try to find that split second where you are at choice. Try different things on to see what helps with your mood - whether you need some time to just take good care of yourself or you want to pull yourself out of a bad place quickly.

The people in your life will greatly appreciate your efforts and as a bonus - you'll find that your relationships will improve and people will want to help you feel better.